I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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