Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
