The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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