If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
