My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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