I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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