Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
