Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize