Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
