the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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