I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
