the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
