drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
