And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
