All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize