I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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