Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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