There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize