i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
