butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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