Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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