Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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