and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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