The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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