Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
