My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
