I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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