first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
