Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
