I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
