Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
