i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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