so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
