And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
