you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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