Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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