therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
