woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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