i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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