He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
