Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
