There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
