Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
