I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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