brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
