When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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