Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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