are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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