Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
