There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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