ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
