Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
