last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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