On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
