So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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