There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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