The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
