Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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