I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
